Friday, January 14
i went back to st marg's today. it was pretty good. the discipline's not too good.. girls with low socks running amock in the school.. the new principal never leaves her office.. the recruits are good.. i am pinning my hope on them.. hope for the future.. i must say this year's sec3s have let us down.. 2 years ago we thought they would be the ones to help us bring the name up.. but ah well. we'll see about this batch.. we'll see.. had a great time out with jean and jan and gen.. happy birthday jan.. ate at pastamania.. then burger king for dessert.. sang happy birthday to jan very softly and she made a wish and pretended to blow a candle out.. haha.. love you!
told ms ho about my plan to come back every week.. she'll sign for me.. i'll probably be there from 330 onwards thanks to my stupid a0 chinese class. i realise i don't need company anymore in school. i'm okay with sitting alone and stoning, i don't care what others say, because they will never understand.. not they. strange creatures of another land. they stare at me strangely. i love these weekly fixes of getting together and being ourselves and being okay with being ourselves and laughing our guts out. i may never get that in my new class, but that's okay. by the way. i haven't found any real friends. the kind that you just want to hold on to til forever and three days. i guess i'm lucky i found you guys so early in life.. and let's never let go cos you're all that's helping me hold on now. and my duty.
i saw your eyes. they startled me.. the sheer intensity of your gaze. why do you look straight at me like that when you have no rhyme or reason to? it's like you know something.. or want to tell me something. or maybe not. maybe it's because we haven't met in so long, i've forgotten what it's like to look into your eyes. maybe it was a response to what you saw in mine. my unresolved anger. bitterness and sadness and hopelessness. take me far away..
it must've been love.
10:19 pm
xoxo
